As a born again Pastafarian it’s a little hard for me to rip on this guy, but I’ll do my best.

Michael Polk is serving time in a Utah prison for aggravated assault and robbery and is suing the Utah Department of Corrections because they won’t allow him to fully practice his religion- that of the ancient Nordic people.

Mr. Polk is upset because he’s been denied the sword, Thor’s Hammer, prayer cloth, Mead Horn, wooden drum with boars skin, and rune staff that he needs to properly engage with his gods of choice.

Hey, if I was in prison I’d probably be looking around for a religion that requires me to have a sword and Thor’s hammer, but come on…

I’m guessing his belief in the Gods of Asgard are about as sincere as mine in the Flying Spaghetti Monster (bless his noodly appendage). I give him major props for trying though. There is nothing better this side of a sock full of quarters for a prison yard battle than a freaking Thor’s Hammer. Smite those bastard Latin Kings and Aryan Brothers. Smite them!

Link [KUTV]