In an effort to prove once and for all how absolutely gullible Americans are (and make a handsome profit in the process) a couple has been sentenced for concocting what is quite possibly one of the most hilarious schemes in fraud history. What’s the pitch that caused more than $800,000 to exchange hands? It goes something like this:

I know I shouldn’t tell you this, but as my friend (or family member) you should know that my wife is a secret CIA Agent. Furthermore, she has access to satellite imagery that we can program to scan your body for any previously unknown medical issues. If anything is found, secret agents will administer medicine to you while you sleep. No seriously. All we require a payment and your coordinates will be relayed to Langley.

That’s it. That’s what friends and family of Brent and Stacey Finley fell for. That’s what netted them $873,786.94. Can you imagine what elaborate lengths these two must have gone to act this out? Secret phone calls in the middle of dinner parties, cracking jokes about how unrealistic Mr & Mrs Smith was, Google Earth on every screen.

God, I love this country.

via phillyburbs